


For the Love of a Rock

by MrsDvlDg



Series: Magnificent Pet Rocks [1]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Humor, pet rocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsDvlDg/pseuds/MrsDvlDg
Summary: Pet rocks were a big hit for six months in 1974.  What happens when Josiah claims his rocks have had a litter and Ezra's rock that he's had for years ends up broken?This started as a humorous tale about pet rocks but developed an angst-filled middle section.  Don't worry though.  The humor returns at the end.
Series: Magnificent Pet Rocks [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626334
Comments: 11
Kudos: 34





	For the Love of a Rock

“No, JD. Not just no, but hell no!”

Buck's voice entered the bullpen well in front of the man. Three other team members looked at each other, wondering what could have possibly riled their explosives expert this early in the morning.

“C'mon, Buck. They're not that hard to care for.”

JD and Buck entered the office, followed by Ezra.

“No, JD. You will not get a snake as a pet! At least, not if you want to live with me.”

JD looked at Buck, who was pale and glaring at his young roommate. Then it dawned on him.

“You're scared of snakes!”

“So what? You're scared of spiders, Vin's scared of tight spaces, Ezra's scared of discount clothing...”

“Hey, leave me out of this,” Ezra said, heading for his desk.

“JD? Are you sure a live pet is a good idea? You haven't had much luck with those,” Vin piped up.

“I just haven't found the right one, yet. And Buck is being too picky.”

“I'm being too picky?” The mustached man was indignant.

“You only let me keep Jeff for a week!”

“Stupid hamster spun that exercise wheel all night. And you put bells on it!”

“And then you made me get rid of Polly. Said she interfered with your 'animal maggotism.'”

“Magnetism, kid! And she did. Stupid parrot kept repeating women's names every time I walked in the door. More than one date just left without me being able to tell her that the parrot had been a pet of a girl at an all girl school!”

“I'm just glad that Nettie likes her.”

“You can't blame me for the fish fiasco. The pet store people even asked if you'd done your research.”

“Alright! But the tarantula was fine until you decided to help me feed it while I was on stake-out duty.”

“Crickets are hard to catch. All I did was slow the suckers down.”

“You sprayed them with Raid and then fed poisoned crickets to Shelob!”

“Sounds like you need a pet rock,” Josiah suggested.

“A pet rock?” JD was flabbergasted. “Josiah, that's not a real pet.”

“Is too. I found one and rescued it. But before I could secure the market, some other guy stole my idea. Made a million off of them. And here I wanted to make sure all the rocks went to good homes.”

JD rolled his eyes.

“First rock I found was a pale gray. I named it Puff. A couple of years ago, I rescued a second rock. Beautiful shade of yellow. I named it Custard. Turns out Puff is female and Custard is male. I now have baby rocks that need homes.”

“Josiah, I think you smoked too much Mary Jane while you were in the Army. Nobody has pet rocks anymore.”

Ezra looked up from his desk.

“I beg to differ, Mr. Dunne. Ace is a valued friend even after all these years.”

“Ace?” JD blinked.

“Yes. Ace of Spades. A very pretty dark gray pet rock. Josiah, one of those pet rocks got a good home.”

Josiah smiled. “I'm so glad to hear that, Ezra.”

“Ezra, there's no way you would have bought a pet rock. You would have had a cat.”

“Oh, I wanted a cat. Or a dog. Heck, I even won a fish at a school carnival once. Mother flushed the fish down the toilet as soon as I got home. Said I could have a pet as long as it didn't eat anything. I brought home a pet rock as soon as I could get one in my area.”

Silence reigned for a bit as the men took in the fact that Maude had flushed a living fish just because she didn't want to buy fish food for her son to feed a pet. JD finally cleared his throat.

“So you still have Ace?”

“Of course. Pet rocks are incredibly long lived pets. Although sometimes I think Ace is lonely when I'm undercover.”

JD snorted at that. “I still don't believe you, Ezra. I've never seen a rock at your home.”

“Ace is incredibly shy so he stays in my bedroom. Josiah, if you are honestly needing homes for baby rocks, I would consider giving one a home. However, I don't have time to deal with babies with going undercover so could you please make sure that my baby rock is another male?”

JD sputtered at Ezra's earnest sincerity.

“I'm not falling for it!” He folded his arms across his chest. “I don't believe you have a rock named Ace.”

Ezra pulled out his wallet. There were two pictures in it. One of Maude and the other of a dark gray rock with eyes.

“That is Ace,” Ezra asserted. “My darling pet.”

Vin looked at the picture as well.

“He is a cute sucker. Josiah? How many babies do ya have?”

“VIN!” JD shouted. “Not you too!”

“There are six babies. It'll be a couple of weeks yet before they're old enough to go to new homes. I'll bring photos so you can see what they look like. JD, think about it. You've heard how fond Ezra is of his rock.”

“Josiah, I think I'll get one too. JD's and mine can keep each other company while we're at work. So I guess we'll need two male or two female. Unless you can fix a rock,” Buck said.

Chris finally stepped out of his office, catching Buck's last comment.

“Fix a rock? Wait, I don't want to know. Just get to work. I've got a meeting.”

After making sure Chris had headed off, Vin nudged Ezra.

“Hey, could you bring Ace tomorrow? Show me some finer points of rock care.”

Ezra grinned. “I think he'd like that a lot.”

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

The next morning, Ezra set a rock on his desk that was the exact match to the picture he had in his wallet. JD still couldn't believe that Ezra took this seriously. Sure, maybe when he was a kid to rebel against Maude's heavy-handed approach to pet ownership, but the undercover agent was an adult now. He could have a cat if he wanted one.

“Ezra? Why do you still have that rock? You own the townhouse so you could get a cat if you wanted one.”

“Who would feed it and clean the litter box while I was under, JD? Ace is fine if I'm gone for a couple of weeks. Although, in Atlanta, I'd taken him with me a couple of times, to remind myself why I was putting up with the rumors and hostility.”

Vin looked at the rock and then caught Ezra's gaze. Keeping his back to JD, he asked in a serious tone, “Would Ace mind if I held him?” Ezra could see the goodhearted twinkle in the sharpshooter's eyes.

“Hmm... I do believe he would be amenable to your holding him,” Ezra drawled as he handed to rock carefully to Vin.

Vin grinned. He understood the sentimental value of the rock to Ezra. On his key ring was a small charm of an angel. His grandfather had given it to him after he had sobbed that he didn't want his mother to be an angel anymore because he couldn't hold her. Besides it being a gift, it was also the one thing he could always keep in his pocket. Too often items got misplaced and left behind as he was moved from one home to another. He was handing Ace back to Ezra as Chris came out of his office.

“Got a call from the DEA. They have a bust that they need backup for. They suspect that their dealers are exporting meth in return for explosives and guns. They requested us. Let's go.”

Ezra put Ace down on his desk as he grabbed his coat. JD hung back a bit, with Buck watching him. Buck's eyes widened as JD picked up Ace.

“Kid! What are you doing?”

“Buck, you can't expect me to believe that Ezra's actually attached to this rock. Just watch, I'll take it with us and he'll never notice it's in the van. Heck, I bet he won't even notice it's not on his desk when we get back.”

Ignoring anything more, JD headed out to the van. Ace was slipped into the pocket of his ATF jacket. Buck realized that as mature as JD had gotten on the job, he was still in his 20s and could act immaturely with regards to relationships. No wonder JD and Casey were still just fooling around.

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

“So much for easy backup,” Vin muttered behind their vehicles.

“Would really help if their attention was directed away from us and the DEA,” Buck commented.

JD froze for a bit, thinking. The DEA was covering the other exit. But the orientation of the exits prevented the two federal teams from putting the crooks in a pincher move. On the far side of the warehouse, JD saw an old fire alarm. If he could break the alarm open the shrieking alarm just might distract the criminals. A bullet might work but it would have to be perfect. It would be easier to hit it with a larger object.

“Nathan? Cover me. I have an idea,” JD ordered.

Moving quickly, JD slid over to a position where he could make the throw. He was good at softball, although the rest of the team didn't know it. The rock in his jacket pocket wasn't much heavier than a softball and was a bit smaller so he'd have a better grip on it. He missed the panicked look in Ezra's eyes as the undercover agent saw what JD intended to throw. Only Josiah's fast reflexes stopped the green-eyed man from diving into the open after the rock.

“Ace!”

“Stay down, you fool. That rock isn't worth your life!” Josiah snapped, regretting his harsh tone as he saw the devastation in Ezra's eyes.

JD's move did work, however. As the DEA took the felons into custody and Buck checked out the crates of explosives, Ezra walked over to the fire alarm. On the floor lay Ace in three pieces. Ezra jumped as Vin laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, Ez. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't asked you to bring Ace to work.”

Ezra looked into compassion filled blue eyes.

“It's not your fault, Mr. Tanner. You didn't take him off my desk nor did you suggest to JD that throwing a rock at the alarm would be a good plan. I guess I should be thankful that Ace was the only casualty but right now I don't think I need to be alone with our young Mr. Dunne.”

Ezra picked up the three pieces and walked back to the van. Chris walked up next to Vin.

“Problem, Vin?”

“Yeah. But it's not yours.” Vin looked over at the computer expert. “I think I need to have a talk with JD about what it's like to have very little to hold onto as you constantly move around.”

“Vin? Do you need me to hold Buck off?”

“Might be a good idea, Cowboy. I'm not gonna pull my punches this time. JD has to grow up some.”

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

Back at the office, Nathan took one look at Ezra's face. How he wished he'd not covered JD before finding out what their computer expert had planned.

“Ezra? Head home. Get some rest,” he gently suggested.

“Mr. Jackson, it isn't even one o'clock.”

“ I know. But you're in no shape right now. Claim a sick day, or half anyway.”

“Sick day?”

“That's what I'm going to tell Chris.”

“Fabrication from you, Nathan?”

“Yeah. I should have found out what JD was going to do.”

“As I told Mr. Tanner, it's not your fault either. And certainly keeping Ace in one piece is not worth any of your lives or the lives of the DEA agents. It's just the sudden nature of this that is making me overly emotional.”

“Ezra, if something is special to you, then it's special.”

“Thank you, Nathan. And thank you for running interference with Chris.”

With that, Ezra slipped out of the office area to head home, nodding to Josiah as the profiler came in.

“Where's Ezra going?”

“I've told him I'll plead a headache on his behalf. Give him some time before he has to deal with JD.”

“Good idea, Nathan. Although I think Chris had given Vin first dibs at the kid.”

“So where are the other four?”

“Chris and JD are getting the electronic equipment checked back in, Buck the van, and Vin is dealing with the armory.”

“Guess we're on beginning paperwork then?”

“Actually Chris asked me to smooth things over with Ezra, but I think your idea was better. Maybe one of us can swing by after work to make sure he's dealing with it okay.”

Vin stalked into the office at that point.

“Where's Ez?”

“Home. Headache.”

Vin looked at Josiah.

“Sure. Well, I'm gonna wait for JD in the conference room. Chris knows.”

Josiah and Nathan nodded. Vin didn't get angry very often, but both men knew that their sharpshooter was simmering and neither wanted him to blow at someone who didn't deserve it. Hiding in the conference room was the best place for now.

It wasn't much longer before Buck, Chris, and JD arrived. Chris pointed at the conference room and then stopped Buck from following. JD hung his head as he walked into the conference room. Vin pointed at the door, waiting for JD to shut it before saying anything.

“JD, why?”

“I honestly didn't think that Ezra would notice that it was missing. It was just a rock. Nothing but a sales gimmick from the 70s.”

Vin sighed. “JD, just because something is a gimmick or supposed to be fun, doesn't mean that it isn't important.”

“Look, I know I messed up. Ezra really liked that rock.”

“Liked? Kid, I'm pretty sure he loved that rock.”

“Loved? It's a rock.”

Vin's eyes hardened. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and handed them to JD.

“Notice anything different from when I usually turn my keys over to someone else?”

JD's brows furrowed at he looked at the keys.

“Wait. Where'd this angel charm come from?”

Vin took his keys back before answering.

“Grandaddy got that for me when I was six. I was upset that my mama was an angel and so I couldn't touch her anymore. Next day, he gave me an angel to hold. That and my favorite stuffy were all CPS allowed me to grab before removing me when Grandaddy's memory failed. Had the stuffy stolen by a bully at the first group home. That charm never left my pocket except when I slept and then it was tightly held in my hand, under the pillow.”

“What does that have to do with Ezra's rock?”

Vin slammed his hands down on the table.

“Kid! If I've done my math right, Ezra would have been about 11 or 12 when he bought Ace. How many boarding schools has Ezra talked about? Think all of the boys that he would have roomed with would have left a pet rock alone? He probably had to fight to keep possession of Ace during his junior high years. Add to it, Maude's not overly sentimental. After a year or two, I'd bet Ezra hid Ace when he was home because loving a rock could be considered a weakness. Ezra doesn't often best his mother when battling wits. Ace was one time where he outsmarted her and holding onto him was a reminder that he did. I had to fight to keep a hold of my charm. It never leaves my possession for more that a minute or two. And only if I trust the people I'm around. Ezra was willing to trust us and left Ace sitting on his desk. What you did was just cruel!”

JD dropped into one of the chairs, his eyes wide in shock.

“I never meant... I didn't know... It was just going to be a joke,” he whispered.

“Hell, I like a good joke as much as the next person. But I never, never, use a prize possession in a joke. Not every person had a ton of fuzzy, loving memories to draw on about their childhood. Sometimes it's nothing more than a charm... Or a rock. Think about it. Think hard. Because when you apologize to Ezra, you had better have a good grasp of just how deeply you hurt him, even if he never shows a single emotion to you.”

With that, Vin walked back out to the office area. He stopped short as Chris gave $10 to Josiah. On Josiah's desk lay two more $10 bills.

“What's going on?”

Nathan looked up.

“We all feel bad that we didn't do more to save Ace. So Chris, Buck, and I have each bought a rock from Josiah's 'litter' for Ezra.”

Vin's face broke out in a big grin as he reached for his wallet.

“Count me in too!”

The men then got to work writing their reports. JD finally came out of the conference room after 15 minutes. He looked like he expected Buck to cheer him up and was baffled with his roommate just looked at him, shaking his head.

“Buck? You know I didn't mean to break that rock.”

“Kid, I told you to leave it on his desk. Anyone with eyes could see that it was important.”

“He joked about not wanting his rocks to breed!”

“JD, just because you can see the humor of the situation doesn't mean that it's not important.”

Vin looked up. “That's what I've tried telling him too. What's it going to take to get it through your head, Kid?”

“He's going to pay Josiah for the rock that was going to be Ace's companion.”

“Fine. How much were the rocks?”

“At the time, four dollars. Better factor in some inflation though,” Josiah stated.

JD stood up and pulled a $5 bill from his wallet and handed it to Josiah. Buck's eyes flashed in anger.

“No, JD. That is nowhere near enough for inflation.” He pulled the computer expert's wallet from his hands. “You had a ten and three fives in here and all you give Josiah is a five?” Buck pulled out the ten and another five and handed them to Josiah.

“BUCK! I needed 20 to reserve that new computer game that's coming out. If I don't reserve it tonight, then I'll have to be on a waiting list!”

“Fine. Be on the waiting list. Maybe that will help you understand that just because something isn't living that it isn't important to someone!”

Tears welled up in JD's eyes at Buck's harsh tone. Buck sighed sadly.

“Kid, I love you. Most of the time when you rush in, all you do is scare us a little, but this time, you hurt one of us and just can't seem to get why. You're young, I get that, but we can't help you learn if you won't listen to the lesson.”

JD looked at Josiah and Nathan. Their eyes were sad. Chris's office door opened. JD looked at his boss and saw the same censure and regret that were present in Vin's and Buck's expressions.

“Yeah. Those games are important to me. I had to work hard and save up for every single one because Mom had enough with putting food on our table and a roof over our heads. I get it now.” JD sank into his desk chair and put his face in his hands. “How is Ezra ever going to forgive me? I was a brat.”

Chris walked over and patted JD on the shoulder. “Ezra doesn't hold a grudge. Apologize. Mean it. Show him you've learned from it. Growing up isn't just about learning to stay alive in law enforcement. You may not think it now, but this lesson will come back to help you someday. I know. I have a few that I learned while in the Navy.”

Buck grinned at Chris. “Yeah... We both do.”

Josiah chuckled. “My Army days are full of life lessons. Not that I'll willingly share any of them.”

“Learned early to listen to Daddy. He had an interesting way of helping me learn lessons,” Nathan said in a wry tone.

“Am I the only one who didn't need 'caring' lessons? Mama told me not to bring shame to the Tanner name. Remember her feeding anyone that came to our door so I figured that's what a Tanner did.”

JD looked at Vin, who was smirking. Somehow he knew that the sharpshooter probably had his own lessons about caring learned from the other side, if he'd understood the partial story he'd heard in the conference room earlier.

7*7*7*7*7*7*7

Two weeks had passed by. JD had left a card with an apology written in it on the Ezra's desk the day after he had thrown and broken Ace. Chris was right; so was Vin. Ezra forgave the young man and treated him as he had before.

Ezra walked into an office that was unusually quiet. He stared at the six boxes sitting on his desk, each with a tag attached to it. Suddenly wary, convinced that he was in for some sort of prank, Ezra cautiously reached out to read the tag on the far left box.

_Ezra, I'm saying I'm sorry again. If I'd paid attention, I would have known how much Ace meant to you. This rock is real sad that it won't be able to meet Ace and keep him company. ~JD_

Ezra looked up at the youngest of them and gave the very nervous man a reassuring smile before he opened the box. He burst out laughing at the pinkish cream colored rock with a dopey expression painted on it.

“Josiah, did the guys choose these or did you assign them to each of them?”

Josiah grinned.

“We were told to not even look in the boxes in case the rock bonded with us instead of you,” Buck muttered.

Ezra went to pull the rock out.

“Wait!” Vin cried. “Almost forgot the adoption certificates.”

“Adoption certificates?” Ezra blinked.

Vin looked at Chris who pulled out a folder. Nathan reached out for it.

“If we're writing names on these by hand, let's make sure Ezra can read them later.”

Nathan pulled out the first sheet and waited.

“I'm not sure... I have a really long name that will become a shortened nickname for the most part, but I hate to give it a long name if I can't do that for all of them. I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings.”

Buck handed Nathan a sticky note.

“You can write them on the sheets when Ezra has made up his mind.”

Ezra sputtered as the others laughed.

“Fine. We'll see what names I can come up with then.”

He opened each of the boxes, noting the name on the tag. He stayed completely silent. He went back and forth, contemplating the possibilities. Finally he looked up.

“No need for sticky notes, Nathan. I have the names ready.” He pulled JD's rock out, waiting for the laughter to die down. “Let me introduce JD's Animal Maggotism.”

“It's magnetism, Ezra!” Buck rolled his eyes.

“No, Maggotism. Maggot for short.”

JD blushed, knowing that the name was a bit of a swipe about his behavior with Ace. He also understood that Ezra was poking fun at Buck as well so he wasn't upset at the name.

The next rock was spotted looking, black and white, with blue eyes that looked soft and tender.

“Meet Buck's Spotted Hoss.”

Buck almost snorted coffee out of his nose. He never thought that one time of calling Ezra “hoss” would come back to haunt him. Does the man never forget anything?

“This is Chris's Cowboy in Black,” Ezra announced, holding up a black rock with muddy green eyes.

“Cowboy?” Chris glared at Ezra, while the rest of the guys laughed at the joke.

Ezra lifted up a dark red-brown rock with dark eyes.

“This one will need a bit of explanation, I'm afraid. When I was 6, Mother left me with a great-aunt outside Atlanta for the summer. She had chickens. Most would run away from you but one little red hen often tried to follow Aunt Natalie into the house. May I introduce Nathan's Mother Hen?”

Nathan looked up, indignant, as the other men tried to hold back their snorts of laughter.

“Ezra, maybe next time I'll let you bleed.”

“I'll be fine, Nathan.”

“No you won't! Not one of you has any sense when it comes to your health around bullets!”

“And, gentlemen, he makes my point.” The grin on Ezra's face took any sting out of the comment. Nathan just shook his head.

Ezra looked at Vin. “Mr. Tanner, I can't forget that you were the first to understand how I felt about Ace. I'm sure Josiah is expecting me to make some joke about your shooting skills, but I find I just can't do that to you.” He lifted out a graphite colored rock. “Please meet Mr. Tanner's Simple Poet.”

“Simple? C'mon, Ez, that's not very nice.”

Ezra's eyes widened. “No, not simple as in unintelligent. Simple as in uncomplicated, plain speaking, relaxed and easy to be around. I meant it as a true compliment.”

Vin's eyes widened at the deep insight Ezra had given him.

“Sorry, Ezra. I should have known better.”

“Perhaps you'd prefer Natural Poet instead of Simple?” Ezra offered.

“Naw, simple is fine. Really,” he emphasized when it looked like Ezra would argue the point.

Ezra took a deep breath and lifted out the final rock. It looked like a rough polished granite rock with shiny flecks in it.

“I was having difficulties naming this one until I noticed the fool's silver made an irregular diamond shape. So I present Josiah's Diamond in the Rough.”

The big profiler sat silent at the coarse emotion in Ezra's voice as he named the final rock. He looked up to see tears in Ezra's eyes that the undercover agent refused to let fall. All of the team remained quiet as Nathan finished putting the names on the certificates. They were then handed to Ezra, still without a word.

“Gentlemen,” Ezra said, finally breaking the silence, “I do thank you for your gifts. Despite my teasing in choosing the names, I am deeply touched that you saw fit to each give me a rock since my beloved Ace was lost. Now, Josiah, how on earth do you keep them from breeding?”

  
  


~ The End ~


End file.
